Empathy, Imagination and Possibility
I have never leapt from a tall building onto the back of a moving dragon and then stabbed another dragon in the eye. I can imagine the burst of terror and adrenaline as my feet left the safety of the stone, and the moment of apprehension as I hang in midair, hoping my ride will catch me. I know that the real me would be too terrified to be on top of a tall building to begin with, but I also know what it’s like to be unafraid of near-certain death.
I read books. Regrettably, not nearly as many as I used to, but I do it. I also watch movies and play video games. Additionally, I write stories, record music, and draw (poorly). I have a healthy imagination.
There is a tactic for squashing discussion, which you likely encounter frequently if you read blogs or participate in online discussion. It follows the form, “You haven’t had this experience, therefore, you cannot possibly understand,” with an implied, “So you have no right to a voice in this conversation.” Mostly, I see it come up in the context of parenting — parents seem to love telling people to STFU if they don’t have kids, because apparently losing sleep for other reasons isn’t as good as losing sleep for crying babies.
The thing is, if you need to experience something to be able to understand it, then the only end to racism, sexism, homophobia, and the various other forms of discrimination that are rampant in our society is going to be to start arming people, because civil discussion will go nowhere.
But! Civil discussion is actually quite effective. People are patiently telling their stories with the hope that you will take a moment to really think about how you can make a positive change in the world. There are people who strongly disagree with the idea that you can’t possibly understand them because you aren’t them, and they want to help you to understand. Don’t belittle their efforts by shutting yourself down because you think you can’t understand. You can. You should. They would love it if you did.
